Alabama - Some of the nicest drivers I’ve ever shared a road with, but you’d think having Talladega in your state would mean ‘drive faster’ but I’m not from there so what do I know.
Arizona - I’m not sure who hurt you, but it wasn’t me, but I’m going to because you suck as drivers.
Arkansas - there is something about southern drivers, they just know how to do it. But still, put some pedal in it, we got to go.
California - I don’t call what they do there ‘driving,’ I call that ‘vying for everyone else’s personal space.’
Colorado - How do y’all drive like that when y’all are high?
Connecticut - There’s no driving with that many cars on the road in that small a space. But y’all try.
Delaware - Honestly, that state is so small that it mainly consists of a bridge with two lanes open usually.
Florida - I get why y’all are always in the news.
Georgia - Southerners with a deep-seated hatred of driving fast in the FAST lane.
Hawaii - Who the fuck knows? It’s a Hawaii, you think I was watching drivers?
Idaho - I raced cars all the way from Boise to Pocatello. All one of them.
Illinois - I had a woman rear end me in traffic and actually try to run away. In traffic. That’s how bad the drivers are.
Indiana - Exactly what you expect from Midwest drivers. Slow and steady as she goes. In every lane. And fuck you if you don’t like it.
Iowa – I have zero love for the state, but they kind of know how to drive otherwise I would travel 500 miles out of my way to avoid this place. It’s literally the only redeeming value it has.
Kansas – The drivers here would drive over your barely breathing body to get one car length ahead. THAT’S WHAT DEFIBRILLATORS ARE FOR.
Kentucky – I don’t know, they’re fine. I wouldn’t give a shit about Kentucky if it weren’t for the Derby and mint juleps.
Louisiana - Trucks all over the road and they don’t care who you are but you better get out of their way because they have 18 tires and you have four. If you get my meaning.
Maine - Who gives a shit? Have you tasted their lobster?
Maryland – This place is just an extension of DC. Move out of the way before they attach themselves to your bumper.
Massachusetts - You know. You know. They don’t even try to hide that they’re the worst drivers in the United States. They’re more proud of that than Harvard or MIT.
Michigan - Amazing drivers (I love you, Eminem).
Minnesota - Pretty nice drivers. Probably so they can save their passive aggression for other occasions.
Mississippi – Definitely some of the nicest drivers I’ve ever driven with. Almost to a fault. Like, stop making the rest of the country look bad.
Missouri - See Kansas
Montana - I love any state that has roads without speed limits. Keep doing you, Montana.
Nebraska - I will never say a bad word about Nebraska. This place is perfection. The drivers are perfection. Everything is perfection.
Nevada - as you probably guessed this is one of the worst states to drive in. I mean, who goes home from the casino sober?
New Hampshire - Way too close to Massachusetts for there to be good drivers here.
New Jersey - I had to moderate my comments (fuck them is how i started).
New Mexico - Decent drivers, probably because they don’t touch Nevada (I’m looking at you, Arizona).
New York - OH JFC SERIOUSLY. Horn honking on a red light to get you to go. Enough said.
North Carolina - You know, these drivers wouldn’t get out of the fast lane going 65 in a 70 if there was 10 police cars with sirens escorting an ambulance with their closest relative in it. Eat their confederate flag, loser.
North Dakota - Nice because no one lives here to drive here.
Ohio - Super nice, love these guys.
Oklahoma - Oh, yeehaw, get out of my way. I think they’re afraid if they go the speed limit they might lose control and end up in the middle of a bunch of cows.
Oregon - It’s been awhile so I’m sure my opinion doesn’t count anymore.
Pennsylvania – How do these drivers and Amish buggies co-exist? They suck.
Rhode Island - Also too close to Mass to have good drivers.
South Carolina - See North Carolina
South Dakota - Uhm, fine.
Tennessee - Holy shit. Where are y’all going so fast? And why are there so many of y’all??
Texas - I know y’all are gonna say I’m biased, but I swear I’m not. Texas has the nicest drivers I’ve ever driven with. Some of y’all could take lessons. REVISED: FUCK EVERY SINGLE DRIVER IN THIS GOD FORSAKEN STATE TIMES A GAZILLION WTF
Utah - Really good drivers because, you know. God is watching.
Vermont - Really cool, nice, polite drivers. I don’t know how because you are also too close to Massachusetts. An anomaly.
Virginia – I hate these drivers. No one exists but them. Why are you in their way? Why are you honking at them? Why are you mad about their tailgating? Why can’t you just let them own the road? What is wrong with you? I could go on.
Washington - Just a lot of people, doing a lot of driving, but pretty well considering.
West Virginia – Bless your hearts. Not great. Not Massachusetts either.
Wisconsin - Pretty great, but I love any state with that much cheese in it.
Wisconsin - Pretty great, but I love any state with that much cheese in it.
Wyoming - Once hydroplaned in Cheyenne and on a freeway full of cars and HUGE trucks. Escaped unscathed. Excellent drivers if I do say so myself.
