Also, whatever I ask of you applies to me as well.
1. Please be prompt. While I understand traffic in NYC is hell, you understand that, too. The excitement I feel at seeing you drops in proportion to the minutes you are late and that's not good for anyone.
2. Please do not discuss anything related to donation/money with me. I don't even want to hear about your lotto win. (send me a ticket to Tahiti with you and we can discuss it then)
3. There will never in a million years be a time when I am not completely and totally rabid about my sexual health. Compromising that in any way will be grounds for me screaming at you and kicking you out. Embarrassing.
4. Please keep what is said in our meeting between us. You won't get an amazing amount of personal information out of me, but what you do get should be held in the strictest of confidence. The information you give me is not mine to share, I need you to feel the same way. No one likes a gossip.
5. If you tell me personal information about someone else and I haven't been able to stop you from doing so? I will tell that person you did it and you will most likely fall out of their good graces. While it may be impressive to you that you are 'good friends' with someone in this business, that means keeping personal information about them to yourself. Or, you need to look up the term 'friendship' in the dictionary.
6. Please, for the love of all that is holy, be considerate of my time. I understand that it's very impersonal of me to ask this and I certainly don't bring the coldness this sounds like to our meeting, but my time is vitally important to me. I love my time, I love that I have reserved some of it for you, but it is still MINE. I will never do anything to misuse yours I would love that same respect. This means you being cognizant of my time. Especially when I mention that I need to get going and that doesn't make an alarm bell go off. Ahem.
7. Be aware of every one of the things I require in order to meet. That means cancellation policies, etc. Nothing I have written is arbitrary. It all has purpose and meaning. I wrote it because I meant it. That means if something happens that is out of your control and you can't meet? Cancellation policy is still in effect. I would love to be lenient about this, but the sad truth is that sometimes it's hard to know who is and who isn't being honest and I don't have time to debate it. And I usually have time to debate most things. Like how Trump made it this far, but I digress.
8. Please look over my website. I didn't spend money and time and a lot of thought making this as succinct and informative as possible just for you to write me an email like the site doesn't even exist. That's also mind blowing, for the record.
9. Please come to me fresh and clean and smelling pretty. There is nothing I appreciate more than a man who smells good. I mean, it seriously turns me on. Like the way not being clean turns me off. So, there's that.
10. Please have fun with me, don't be nervous, be open, be prepared for pleasure. I won't cross lines of decency, but I will get right up to them. Please, though, do respect that I don't do some things. No matter how good you've been told you are at them. Ever. I am positive you are the consummate lover, but we are all made beautifully different. I will respect that about you if you will about me. And I will most definitely appreciate everything about you that turns me on, which is most things, except like gum chewing and GOSSIP. OMG.
Thank you for reading, you've been a sexy and captive audience. I hope that with these little guidelines we can continue on our journey of pleasure. Now get out.
Thank you for reading, you've been a sexy and captive audience. I hope that with these little guidelines we can continue on our journey of pleasure. Now get out.
(Hee hee, just kidding)
