Magical New York City. I lived there for a few years and fell in love, and then out of love, and now I just think of it longingly. But I won't have to think about it much because I'll be right in the middle of that madness again very soon.
Everyone should live in this place just once, for a time. While it's expensive, prohibitively so, the weather is torturous at times, and the people can be callous, insensitive and dismissive most days, it still IS the most fabulous place on earth.
I remember living there and reveling in the energy and sparkle of the compact city with far too many people and cars than it could reasonably hold. I never lost the feeling that I was experiencing something most people just dream of. I was constantly in awe and aware that I was in the middle of the biggest thing I'd ever know in my lifetime.
I also experienced a deep, dark, paralyzing depression. When the snow started and the rain fell, my mood did as well. The noise of the city constantly reverberating in my head, both while awake and asleep, was enough to cause brief insanity. I had to leave or lose myself.
But, the things I felt when I was there, while I was feeling them, were life altering and I'm proud to say that I once lived in such a majestic city where anything you want can be found. Any kind of food, lover or adventure I wanted was just waiting for me to call it forth. I indulged mightily and I'm not sorry.
So, as I return to the place I have a burning love/hate relationship with, I'm happy to be able to take what I want and leave the rest, and I hope when I do that I, and the city, am richer for it. I'm almost positive we will be.
2 comments:
Nikki as New Yorker I know what you mean, but understand the city loves you and that is why it keeps calling you back. The reasons the seasons change in the city is to try to help us slow down but it doesn't last long. Your love / hate is felt by everyone and then that is when you meet new people and realize why would I ever leave
As a New Yorker, I think a little Nietsche is in order: That which doesn't kill us, just makes us stronger. Many a dreary winter made me think about a warmer climate. But then spring comes. And the rebirth of the city (and the very beautiful geography of the NYC metro area) squash those thoughts.
The first day that the beautiful women of New York unwrap themselves from their winter cocoon of wool and down is a sight and emotional awakening that makes you forget about the evils of a temperate climate.
And then comes baseball season...
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