Rumor and Lies

I usually don't care to address rumors or lies, but this one was just believable enough that I had to address it.

So, some tool on TER decided that he'd make a list of all girls that were presumably 'pimped out.' He'd heard this from LE, supposedly, and wanted to share this erroneous information with all of TER. 

I don't really care who this person is, or what he does with his life, but this is getting a little ridiculous. First, no law enforcement officer is going to buddy up to some douchebag liar on TER and give him all this information. Secondly, what does being 'pimped out' have to do with anything? 

If I worked for an agency I'd let that agency do all my work for me. I wouldn't hide it. If someone else was calling all the shots I'd let THEM make all my appointments and answer all my phone calls and emails. 

As it stands, it's my job alone. I am an independent provider and have been since I started. I'm proud of the fact that I do this by myself. That I have become who I am through my own hard work. I don't even have a scheduler because I don't trust people to protect my reputation the way I do. Sometimes it would be easier to have someone do all this for me, but I refuse to give that control to anyone.

I am not offended that someone thought I was 'pimped out,' I'm offended that someone else gets any credit for my hard work. I do all of this, I project the image you see, I come to you of my own free will, I am my own person. 

There is a lot of good information on TER, I have used it to my benefit, and you to yours, for years, so I'm not bashing them. But, please, be careful about what you believe, it could hurt someone in some way and that's never good. 

Now, let's have some fun and stop spreading lies and untruths. The world has plenty of that without any help from TER.

Love

At first I was going to write some rant detailing how ridiculous some things could be in this business when I thought of something that happened to me recently and decided to trade bad energy for good and share this instead.

My offspring recently called me with terrible news. A man that he considered a mentor to him when he was younger had just died. I could hear his voice rise in frustration when I couldn't give him what he was asking for immediately. The anger was just a cover for the grief he was feeling and I understood it for what it was. I calmed him, told him I'd call him back and we'd work it out. We did. He is now back in his hometown mourning this deep loss. I'm terribly sad for him. 

That really isn't the story, though. The story is who this person was in his life. He happened to be the brother of his former step-mother (she divorced his father a few years ago) so in essence his step-uncle. But not even that as they were no longer in the same family. Except that's not true because that's not how love works, is it?

He, with zero obligation to my son, invited him into his life and encouraged him with sensible advice, a respect he held close and an investment that has lasted for years longer than you would have thought it would. Except that's not how love works, is it?

For Mother's Day my son also wrote a poignant post to his ex-step-mother. I added to the post, that yes, she was amazing and I loved her for the love she had for my sons. Then love came from other places; extensions of love from people that I didn't know. Love grows, doesn't it? 

Then my sister, my mother, they added notes of condolence to this person they'd never met, but who they knew had a profound impact on my son. And the love grows, doesn't it?

I then realized that the love I have been surrounded by has come from places that most would never consider conventional. And I think a lot of people are stuck thinking that the way things are, is the way they should be. Family should only love family. The first ex-wife should not love the second ex-wife. The ex-wife and her family should certainly not love the second ex-wife's extended family, but I'm happy to say that...that's not how love works, is it?

Update

The thing I've learned as I've gotten older and become much wiser is that things change. Making allowances for that in my life has made everything so much easier for me.

When I announced my retirement a few months ago it was preceded by an amazing addition to my family. I was consumed by this new relationship in my life. I didn't care how or why or when, but I was going to be closer so I could foster that relationship and make it an important part of both of our lives. 

What I didn't count on was how much I would hate the idea of living in the area that my family and this new relationship was in (a town of 6,000 and miles and hours from any big city). Having visited now seven plus times I am quite sure this will never be a place for me to thrive and expand on my happiness. Not even for this relationship.

My heart is broken. I thought I would do anything for this person, but the truth is that I'd be giving up an immeasurable amount of happiness and contentment to be near them. That wouldn't benefit any of us. I choose to stay in a place that enhances my life and allows me to be the positive influence in this person's life that I just couldn't be if I were depressed and sad about my surroundings. 

Sometimes in life the pieces all fall together and I had dreams of that happening here. I did feel a lot of joy at the idea of being there every moment of their life, but when reality set in the pieces were scattered and didn't fit together like I had hoped. 

So, I say all that to say that I won't retire now. I love this thing I do. I love the people I meet and the incredible experiences that I have had and I want more.  And, at the same time I will be a force in this person's life from afar and hope that it's as deep and meaningful to them as it is to me regardless of the distance between us.

I will be happy to explain what has happened in detail to anyone that asks, but for now I choose to stay and be happy. Happy with you, happy with me, and happy with the choices I've made. I hope you'll support me in that noble and worthwhile goal. 

Dating

Once upon a time I had a boyfriend that I loved very much, and who also loved me. He showed me by sleeping around and lying. We aren't together anymore because apparently me being ungrateful wasn't a part of the plan.

I am not ready to date, but what better time than when you loathe the idea with every part of your soul? Perfect. I can tell you exactly how this turns out. And, so I will...

The first person I met was tall and handsome with an accent. He was athletic, loved scuba and the outdoors, and animals! He was charming and charismatic and sarcastic. I mean, very sarcastic. Astonishingly so.

We met at a mutually agreeable place and time. He was instantaneously critical of everyone and everything. Almost like he practiced it. Continuously. I suppose I was his unwitting audience. I assumed that because of his pedigree that these things naturally went along with that. I'd like to add as a disclaimer that I hated it immediately. But, I'm southern, if you want to act like an asshole there's almost nothing you can do, as a stranger, to get me to point that out. Y'all.

So, after chatting combatively for a little while we finally got down to brass tacks. I made him uncomfortable, he didn't know what to do with me, he'd never met anyone like me. Whoa, there. I can take verbal bombs, mainly because I expect people to take them, too, sometimes, but this was so deranged, so far from a human response to a stranger being nice, that I politely slid out of my chair, draped my purse over my shoulder and made a mad dash to my car. I only hope he didn't get my plate number because I can totally see stalking as a future goal of his.

The second 'date' thankfully only went as far as text messaging. 

Got a text from someone with 'good morning' as the introduction. Clearly this person didn't know me, or the 7 a.m. buzzing in my ear would have happened three hours later therefore, I ignored it. I woke up (not at 10, that's actually when I start to feel less zombie) and replied with 'hello?' IMMEDIATELY I'm bombared with questions about why didn't I recognize this number (I'm the one who gave my number because obviously I need another lesson in crazy - I'm about to get it), didn't I know who it was, etc. When I replied that, no, I socialize, work, volunteer, etc. and get lots of numbers, I got a terse 'bye.' What-the-fuck-ever you clown. I apologized and told him I'm used to people introducing themselves. He then accused me of being a 'player' and other things I deleted out of my phone. 

I quickly dismissed myself from that lunatic and vowed to never date in Vegas, ever. I do believe I'm here to merely serve as an example to all women that Vegas is probably not the best place to find someone to live out the rest of your days with. Unless sleeping with an axe strapped to your chest and a .38 glued to your palm is your idea of romance. 

The end.

 

Pampering

I do love it. I do it as often as I can because, dammit, I'm worth it. 

I have a beautiful, highly rated spa very near my house fortunately. I booked an appointment one beautiful Sunday and headed over to sit in the jacuzzi, steam room, sauna...yum.

I also booked time for a facial and a hot rock massage. 

First, let me tell you this is what I sounded like the whole time I was there: Mmmmmmm. Ahhhhhhhh. OH MY GOD. Wow. Mmmmmmmmmmm. A lot of mmmmmm's, actually. 

There is a reason I'm saying this. 

I head to get my hot stone massage. There is absolutely nothing better than sliding naked under the heavy blanket and waiting for someone with experienced hands to run them all over my body. Okay, maybe orgasm. But, god, it's so close. 

So, a young guy comes in and begins the process of placing the rocks on my back, in my hand, etc. He then starts to run the warm rocks over my body. I cannot contain myself or the almost-orgasmic joy I feel going through my body. Cue sounds from above. I couldn't help myself. When I feel something delicious an involuntary moan comes sliding out of my mouth. Sensually, sexily, yes. I'm sorry. Not really.

So, he's rocking my body (I apologize, bad pun). I'm laying there and cannot keep my mouth from making these really dirty, sexual noises. I had to admit, I wasn't turned on by him, but my body betrays me and so I know he thinks HE is the one turning me on. Know how I know? He asks me out to dinner. 

Oh. My. God. I've done it now. I deflect the attention and go back to the business of absorbing this amazing pleasure. Do you think I can stop? I can't. My mouth, my body, those noises. Oh man. 

Thankfully, or not so, the massage ends and I can sneak out without looking him in the eye. I just couldn't. How embarrassing. 

So, I go to get a facial. SAME THING. She's rubbing my shoulders during the time the mask is on my face, etc. By the time I'm ready to go I'm pretty sure the gorgeous girl thinks I'm going to ask her out. She walks me to the waiting area where I started with her arm around me the whole time. Oh my god. Again.

I'm pretty sure everyone there thinks I'm the spa slut. I'd defend myself, but I would never apologize for feeling SO good.

Dirty Job Done

Well, of course you need a redheaded woman.

I was sitting here on this beautiful Sunday morning and a song that I was introduced to by an old lover popped into my head. Bruce Springsteen's Redheaded Woman.

When I first heard it I didn't realize how dirty it was, or how aptly it described redheaded women. 

Aren't we fiery and hot? Dirty and delicious? What is it about us? 

Having thought it over I have to say that it is definitely an internal inferno. There is something that burns inside of me. It is passion turned up high. 

I'm not just talking about sex, that is just a vehicle to express that fire. I mean, it's about feeling passionate, it's living on a higher level. It's loving and breathing life. 

We can see every cheap thing you've ever done because we have that intuition and it usually slants to the dirty. Which is where I think men like to hang out. I know you know what I mean. 

This song has just made my Sunday. It's also made me want to embrace even more my sexy, sensual, dirty side. It makes me proud to be a redhead.

So, play on. I'll put my tight skirt on and dance for you.

Safety & Etiquette

For the most part I have very little trouble with appointments in this business. Most men are genuine and kind and care very much that I feel safe and comfortable.

And there are those who don't. They are the ones who mislead, harass and sometimes threaten. Those are the ones that make this a difficult job, because to not be wary of everyone means getting taken by the men you least expect to. I can't allow that, obviously.

It surely must be the rule that references are required. Why would I meet someone that I have never met before, have no knowledge of, most likely don't know their real name to find anything out about, etc? What kind of logical person thinks that way?

That means, gentleman, if you write to me as though you have no idea what a reference is, or you get upset because I require them, I will most likely block your email address and hope that you forget about me. 

I will not allow you, a stranger, into my home without knowing that at least someone else trusts you. I also would never meet someone in a hotel that I had no information about. This is common sense, please don't act like I just asked for your credit history when I say I need references. You know better.

Also, writing to a person just to harass them shows a marked lack of outside interests on your part. Join a team, find a hobby, clean your car, I don't care, but please stop writing me without any intention of ever meeting me. That is creepy, weird behavior and is frightening. It also shows that you're most likely friendless and living in a dark basement playing WoW and calling online people your ‘posse.’ Great.

But, if you write to me and immediately give me a couple of references and a few lines about who you are and what you like, we'll get along famously. A picture goes a long way as well. I just want to get the formalities out of the way first so that we can then get onto the most important thing: you and me. Together. Oh yeah.

So, drop the behavior that says 'be afraid of me,' because I most likely will oblige you, and if you're scary enough, inform other people of that fact, too. 

All you other sexy men, keep writing and sharing your time with me, it's been such a great experience!

Personality

I just read an email from someone who could potentially be a new friend. The more I read his detailed email to me, the more his personality came through, the more I wanted to meet him!

His sense of humor was evident and really drew me to him. He included photos of himself (one as a joke) and by the end of reading the email (actually, re-reading) I knew I had to meet this person!

I have often wanted to know more about the people I meet with, but in the interest of privacy I've never asked for more than I've been given (in email, people, in email).

Obviously the more you know about the person you're with, the more intimate the encounter. I also try to remember the details I am given so that we have things to share in conversation. I want this to feel like a heightened experience, not just a THING.

Whatever you may hear or read about this profession; I am not in this solely for financial gain. I find that knowing nothing about a person has a certain appeal; the thrill of finding out little things as our encounter progresses, but really knowing who I'm meeting gives everything a feel of sexy familiarity. I love that.

So, introduce yourself to me. Tell me who you are, show me who you are. I want your personality to come off the screen and surround me. I want you to be a participant in our experience. It will make it more than you ever thought it could be, I'm sure.