European Musings

I woke up in my bed this morning and still can't believe that yesterday I was in Brussels eating the finest chocolate I've ever tasted in my life and today I woke up in another of the world's greatest cities, New York, my home.

Instead of feeling sad, I feel awash in gratitude that this is my life and it is beautiful. 

But, I really wanted to jot down observations of my trip to seven of the world's greatest countries, mostly for myself, but maybe you'll like them too.

(A disclaimer: these won't be in the order I visited these countries in, that would be as follows: Turkey, Belgium, Luxembourg, Germany, Czech Republic, Switzerland, France)

To begin, the autobahn isn't what you think it is. It's really just a two (sometimes three) lane highway with no speed limit that runs throughout most of Germany. In Europe the left lane is the passing lane and no one stays in in for long. That would be great, except for the cars who drive slowly while passing making the autobahn almost useless for non-stop speeding. I WISH. I will say I did drive at 125 (or about 200 kmph) for a few minutes and it was awesome. I just wish I'd had something faster than a stupid BMW SUV. Boo. 

People in other countries do not hate Americans, they do not care what you wear and will never be rude. This was a concern of mine as I wanted to fit in and not stand out like a 'stupid American,' but my fears were completely unfounded. Everyone I met was incredibly kind and helpful. I didn't have one negative experience with anyone. My American/Southern accent either fascinated or bewildered them, but it never offended. 

Istanbul is very much a city that I felt the least affection for. The Grand Bazaar is really just like a huge flea market where very little is authentic. It was my greatest disappointment. The mosques and other sights were interesting and beautiful, but I was accosted regularly about buying something or seeing something, etc. I felt a little disrespected as a woman, but had an amazing conversation with my cab driver through our mutual translation programs. Too fun! 

Zurich was gorgeous, but I feel disconnected from it. I'm not sure why. It was beautiful, the people friendly and the city mesmerizing, but I just felt unattached to it. They even charged me 40€ for the pleasure of driving on their roads, maybe that was it. Very friendly people, so kind. I really enjoyed that.

I was warned against visiting Luxembourg, but went away. I wish I'd listened. It was described to me as a soul-less city and that's as accurate as I can describe. It seemed to lack warmth or any sort of vibrancy that the other cities had. It was very historical, the buildings were impressive and there seemed to be a lot of movement around the city, but it just felt blah to me. I won't return, but it was nice to say I've been.

I visited both Heidelberg and Munich on my trip to Germany. Heidelberg was so beautiful that it seemed like it was pulled from the pages of a fairy tale. It was just a stunning, stunning city. This, though, was one of the only countries where it was difficult to find English speakers. That made it harder, obviously, but not impossible. The food here was amazing and the hotel I stayed in was just indescribable. The castle was amazing and the river and bridges were just beautiful. It's hard to put into words how much I loved this city. It was perfection.

Munich on the other hand literally freaked me out. I drove in and the city was just crawling with people. I mean, EVERYWHERE. My sister reminded me that I lived in NYC and I reminded her that I didn't care, I was freaked out. I felt surrounded and just not happy here. The men are also incredibly forward and I felt completely unsafe. I wouldn't come back here even as kind of cool as it is. It was just too much. 

Prague. How do I even begin to describe how much I love the Czech Republic? I drove into the country from Germany on an overcast day and it felt exactly like I was driving into a Cold War country. I don't know how else to describe it. It wasn't that I was driving into an industrial city, it just felt that way. Just very cold and a little scary. To make matters worse I had a flat (not bad, I had BMW run-flat tires) and in a seemingly desolate area. I just took an exit and drove. I found a gas station but the air station wasn't working. I was beginning to freak out because these people seriously do not speak English on any level. 

I pulled out from the gas station drove about a mile, turned a corner and there was a tire shop! It was amazing (and confirms the super charmed life I live)! They at first said they couldn't fix it, but thanks to my translation program (and Peter's - my future ex-Czech husband) I told him I would cry and he got it all fixed. This was the first person I'd seen on my trip that I was seriously attracted to. He was kind and the hottest man I'd seen in Europe yet. It was everything I could do to not stab my other tires with a knife. He was gorgeous! If he'd spoken English I'm pretty sure we would have been in bed together that very night. Damn language barrier!

Moving on to my actual visit to Prague. 

This city defies explanation. There is nothing in my ability to use language effectively that can even come close to telling you about this magical city. It is beautiful, the people so incredibly welcoming and friendly and you can get whatever you need for next to nothing. It was by far the least expensive city I visited. I lived like a rock star here on pennies. Never mind that, the river, the bridge, the architecture, the people, the food, the shopping, everything was so perfect. I could have stayed here forever. It will always be one of my favorite places. 

Paris. What can you say about Paris that hasn't been said and isn't absolutely true? I liken it to a more fashionable, fun NYC. It reminded me completely of the city I live in, but with the amazing Eiffel Tower! Although, going up in it just reminded me of the ESB. Yikes. 

The food here was incredible! WOW! I loved eating in Europe and it will take about a month to lose all the carb weight (I'm looking at you pan au chocolate, croissants, french bread and butter!), but it was so hard not to! 

I also loved the people. My sister, a former Euro-living American, scared me senseless about the people, but she's just crazy. They didn't care what I wore, didn't care that I butchered their language with my remedial high school French pronunciations, that I had no idea what I was ordering when I ordered it. They accepted me as I was and it was incredible! I will never, ever forget the feeling I got of looking up and seeing the Eiffel Tower for the first time, ever. It was amazing. It wasn't my favorite city, but I understand its power. 

I'm saving my favorites for last. 

Belgium. I loved, loved, loved Prague, but Ghent, Belgium stole my heart. This was a day trip to my regret because I could have stayed here for a week. This city brought me the most peace and the place where I felt just calm and centered. I just wandered and wandered and found the most beautiful churches, the friendliest people and I just felt so good here. It was magical. I don't have any experiences to speak of from here, it was just the whole feeling I got from being in this city. Just amazing. 

Ghent has to share my heart with Colmar, France. This was a place I decided on because it was halfway between Zurich, where I had been, and Brussels where I was going. The drive was too long so I needed to spend the night in between and as luck would have it, I chose Colmar. 

THIS was my first taste of France and it was, like Ghent, just beyond description. The people, the food, the churches and houses that looked like gingerbread lived in them, Little Venice and beyond just wowed me from the beginning. It was a city I regretted not staying longer in. I almost, almost did, but I'm glad I carried on because I got to see Paris and fall even more in love with France. If you ever get to that country visit Colmar, you won't be disappointed. 

This trip didn't start out as one of a lifetime. I really just wanted to revisit Europe, but it became something life changing. I felt empowered by choosing my own way, by navigating some of the most challenging places I'd been, I felt beautiful and free and independent and I now feel like I have some of the most incredible experiences to add to the already pretty incredible experiences I've had.

I love Europe and I'll go back soon. It was AMAZING!

25 Things

1. I can't sleep with covers over my head

2. I fear very little

3. I am surprisingly not clumsy, I rarely fall or trip

4. I have driven cross country four times by myself

5. I thrive on exploration of anything

6. I love to sleep abnormal amounts if I can get by with it

7. I'm actually much more athletic than I seem

8. I love to dance (club)

9. I can drive 12 hours at a time, if not more

10. I once drove the prettiest dark purple car; it's my favorite color

11. I have lived in 13 states

12. I love clean sheets. No, like, REALLY love them

13. I can cook almost any dessert 

14. I love John Denver and know all the words to his songs

15. I rarely watch television

16. I dislike any color but brown (or variation thereof) in my house (so weird!)

17. I feel most at peace on my road bike (bicycle)

18. I feel most powerful on my road bike or exercising

19. I speak sarcasm fluently (especially with my sister)

20. If you do not love animals we probably shouldn't be friends

21. I love outspoken people who tell me how they're feeling

22. I love the deep emotion that comes from loving someone (whomever)

23. I have made the best friends of my life in NYC

24. I live every day of my life for two certain people, I would die for them

25. I am most definitely a Libra (look it up)

Reputation

I don't get pissed off very often in this business; I find a lot of contentment here, but when it comes to questioning my character I get really upset.

I have worked very hard to maintain an excellent reputation. My reviews are evidence of that. I play fair and by the rules each and every time because this is, despite being incredibly fun, my work (I obviously use that term loosely) and I take it very seriously. 

So when I am confronted with a client that has gone over the line of decency and respect, I deal with that in ways that are clearly outlined. I have no desire to be vengeful, I don't live my life that way on any level. I'm a kind, giving person and most people appreciate that, but if you abuse that I will respond to that appropriately.

I have a 'blacklist' policy. I use it sparingly and for only the most egregious of offenses (as I say on my site). It is a necessary tool for women to keep us 1) safe, and 2) to stay notified of the worst of problem clients. 

Men have the same reporting standards. They have a board where they are free to tell other men about the bad experiences they've had. It seems a double standard to cry 'no fair' when the reverse is true. 

Once, I had a terrible client who abused my time and my intelligence. I can deal with insulting my intelligence, I have that to spare, but time is something that is invaluable to me. I blacklisted him because he absolutely deserved it and backlash followed. 

When you jump on the bandwagon of someone this has happened to you are saying that my reputation is not impeccable, that my words are lies and that I am untrustworthy. That I have not performed due diligence and made sure that this act was intentional, that I just throw around that penalty as though I am not conscientious about my actions. Nothing could be further from the truth. 

I'm sure you could say the same thing about the client and I will just repeat that I do everything possible to make sure that what I am hearing and reading is the truth. We all know when we hear the truth and when we don't. If there is ever a doubt in my mind at all I choose to err on the side of caution. I would never default to destroying a person's reputation I assure you.

So, if you have heard anything negative about me and a client just know that I have done everything possible to assure a positive, meaningful interaction. If it goes another way I will do everything I can to repair the damage or to mitigate it. I'm sorry if there is fallout from that, please be aware I never intend that. 

Now everyone who has been wasting my time can get back to the business of living their incredibly short life in the never-ending sunshine of Arizona. PLEASE. 

Thanks for reading.

New York City

There once was a time when I said I'd never go back to NYC. I was in love, having left to live in Vegas and enjoying the drastic change of scenery. I was also with someone that made leaving NYC easy. 

Now that he is gone, I've moved to Phoenix and am alone, I decided that since the opportunity arose that I'd take it. And so I head back to the city that never sleeps, the city that I once couldn't wait to leave in order to experience something different. I am going back into the middle of Manhattan.

To be perfectly honest, there is nothing I hate about Phoenix. I have really just enjoyed it here so much and I know I'll be back, but I think now is a good time to experience NYC once last time for a few years. Then I'll make my way back to this glorious place and stay forever. I'm sure it will welcome me with open arms. 

I'll miss a lot about it. The quiet, the wide open spaces, the way it's always beautiful and warm (mostly). The people are kind and generous, the city is just so livable. I just wanted to try NYC once more. That's all; no more, no less. 

Because I don't need to tour living in NYC, it means that all the cities I loved to visit while living here in Phoenix probably won't be visited again. I'll try, but it's so nice to always stay home and have a routine. 

So, Boston, Cleveland, Minneapolis, Atlanta, DC (maybe a little more in DC), etc. will be fondly remembered. I do love the cities, I just want to stay in one place and live every day there. I hope that's understandable.

So, on that note, I'm going to pack up my beautiful home in Phoenix and head East. I think it will be an incredible return. 

*I will be living in Midtown West (per usual) and I will be there February 1

The Giving Season

That title isn't hyperbole, you really did give this season. And give and give and give. 

If you could see my overflowing gratitude, the way my heart expanded, the joy I felt from your generosity, it would possibly overwhelm you. The good news is, I can tell you about that. How amazing I've seen the human spirit be, how gracious and lionhearted and unhesitating you were when I asked for your help. You gave heroically. (Nor is this hyperbole)

What you can't see was the hardened little girl who was so bitter at losing her mother to drugs, who was forced into a shelter and was so unhappy at her core because of that. You also missed the way her face lit up when I gave her the shoes she asked for, the ones you bought for her. The ones that glowed in the dark. You missed the moment she put them on and the way for a small moment that anger melted away and underneath the happy little girl she was meant to be came out. I'm sorry I couldn't capture that for you, it was divine. 

You also couldn't see the grateful faces at the outreach center who got new, warm blankets that you provided. How they got clean, new socks and toiletries to bring them closer to feeling human again. How those small things bring happiness. I wish I could bottle that up and give it to you in return for the gift you gave them. 

You missed the boys playing with new basketballs and girls coloring in beautiful new coloring books with brand new crayons and markers. How dedicated they were to painting their sun catchers and proclaiming they were going to hang it on the wall of their cubicals. How they painted and mixed colors and used their vivid childish imaginations to bring to life dogs and houses and Christmas trees. How they furrowed their brows as though that face would keep the color between the lines. They were children allowed to act like children without the environment reminding them that this wasn't the normal they should have. Your art supplies carried them away from the shelter if only for a couple of hours. I wish the picture that I've painted could show you the meaning you brought to them. 

With all your donations you restored some dignity, you've contributed to the betterment of people you don't even know, nor will ever meet, you've made lives richer. That's so commendable that I am strangely at a loss for words.

I argue against the idea that you can't help the poor, the unemployed, the homeless. That what you do isn't enough. What you did was enough, it was phenomenal. Thank you. 

(I'll also use this as a platform to extoll the virtues of volunteering: if you ever need a way to fill your heart and soul, give back. Give your time, give your money, give something of yourself. The appreciation you get back will expand your spirit and your consciousness and it will be euphoric. I promise.)

Again, I thank you from the bottom of my eternally grateful heart. I am in awe of you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 

'Tis the Season

Every year since I began doing this I've held pretty successful food drives at Christmas time. I also donated time and toiletries from my travels to Ronald McDonald House and I thought it was enough, I had done my part. 

I was wrong.

Recently I got involved in a very cool thing that involved charity as well as other things like sports, hobbies, etc. I signed up for a few things, but have traveled so much I hadn't really actively participated. That recently changed. 

I offered to be a part of a really important (I didn't know how important at the time) thing that has really changed my outlook. I think I've always had compassion for people, but if I were to be honest I'd say it wasn't to the level that caused me to go out and try to change circumstances. Well, I'm done with that way of living. 

I refuse to stand on the peripheral and look in at the suffering of the people that I share this earth with any longer. There is so much sadness and pain that could easily be alleviated by just giving a little bit. Listen, I'm not going to be nominated for sainthood anytime soon, but I know, I KNOW, that I can make a difference, even if it's minuscule to those who judge these things. 

So, having said that, I'm starting to offer incredible deductions for those who help me in this endeavor. This is an endeavor I could surely manage alone, but in seeing me I'll help us to help others and I'll be eternally grateful to you. 

I know that some that I see are travelers and I would be happy to take any donation you give me and buy needed supplies and email you a receipt. If you're near me I would love to have clothes, toys, art supplies, sporting equipment, etc. Nothing has to be new. There is so much appreciation for anything you can do. In return I'll make it so worth your while. Heh. 

Please join me in making this holiday season better for someone else who can't make it better for themselves. Then we'll share some joy together. 

Happy Holidays.

Travel

I just returned from Alaska and I'm so happy to be home. It's nice to be in the sunshine and warmth again.

While there I celebrated the fact that I have now visited all 50 states. While I'm very proud of that fact, I've traveled so much and for so long that it was just like, 'well, of course.' 

I understand what it means, I know that most people will never visit all of the states in our country, but this is how I was raised so I didn't treat it as a goal. As a matter of fact, it just sort of surprised me one day: 'Oh, I guess I just have Alaska to visit and I'll have seen all of the states' kind of thing. 

On my trip this summer with my nieces I visited eight states in a week's period. I really wanted to share the love of travel with them like it was shared with me. So, this is what I do, this is who I am. 

But let me tell you, the awe I feel when I see something beautiful never, ever changes. I cried when I saw the Grand Tetons (and will every time I see them, and have - this was my second time), I cried when I was standing in the Narrows of Zion, and I cried when I saw Denali (also known as Mt. McKinley to those outside of Alaska - I prefer its native name).

The beauty of nature never, ever ceases to amaze me. It is what propels me forward to the next great beautiful place in this world and it gives my life meaning. 

My father and grandmother were the greatest influences toward that. They both took me places, showed me things and taught me that the world was bigger than Texas (I'm so glad they did, Texas would have never taught me that). My father said 'go waitress in Hawaii, you'll make money and see gorgeous things' (and also, 'turn that TV off and read this book' - thanks, Papa, I did). My grandmother didn't say as much, she just took me to surrounding states and promised I'd never forget what I saw. She was right. She told me, 'whatever you do, go to Alaska, you won't regret it.' She was right again. 

Now the only thing I know is that I wish I had them both to share all this with. I know they would be so proud. 

I'm proud. I'm thrilled to be in an exclusive club that not many people belong to. Most importantly, I am continuing the legacy that my family before me started and can pass on to the family I have now. I hope they love exploring this beautiful world as much as I have. I'm going to try and make sure they do. 

Go travel, it opens your mind and soul. There isn't much like it that compares. I'll be going somewhere again soon, you can believe that!

Compatibility

I continually strive to give the people who want to see me a view of who I am. I have reviews, I tweet, I write in this blog; I really want you to see me as much as is allowed without crossing privacy boundaries (that's a totally different issue). 

I do this for a reason: the more you can see of me, the more you will know if our time together will be spectacular. It's nothing less than what I want for us so I use every tool at my disposal to help facilitate this. 

It would be very difficult for you, with all the information out there, to make an uninformed decision about whether I'm right for you or not. Yes, there is the chance that chemistry won't happen for one reason or another, but it won't be for lack of information. 

Having said all that, I'm sometimes baffled at people who come to see me who want the exact opposite of what I offer. 

I am a sensual, open minded, happy person. I strive to make a connection in the short time we're together. I want being with me to produce a shock to your system. A momentary respite from your regular world. i want to be memorable; I want us to be memorable. We never have to touch again, but while we are touching I want it to be electrifying. And I want it to feel like us being together is the most natural thing in the world. And I take care of that with my openness and warmness and my very welcoming invitation for you to come with me to my world for a little while. You will drop your guard with me very quickly. 

So when I meet someone who has difficulty relaxing, who wants the meeting to be guided by their own personal experiences instead of seeing this as a whole new one, who wants to keep a wedge between us, I internally bristle, but carry on. We are not compatible and I want to say that, but I hate not being able to at least give the person who thought enough of me to come see me some sort of experience. Even if it is a closed off, rigidly guided replication of every experience they've ever had before. I then feel required (I hate feeling required) to carry on. 

This is not a normal experience with me. I see you, I feel the vibe between us, I move in to feel you, to taste you. And, while I do direct most of the time, it's generally only in a direction I see that you're willing to go. I'm very flexible and easy to flow with. But I want it to flow. 

Please be mindful of the kind of experience you want to have using the abundance of information I have given you so that our experience together is amazing and memorable. I love achieving that with you.